I'm lost,
I don't want anyone's help,
I'm too proud
I'll get rid of all the people that care
That way I don't have to disappoint anyone
I just want to cry
Why did my dad have to abuse my mom?
Why did I have to see it
Why did I feel like I had to keep it close
Living each day as a zombie
Not letting anyone in
No I'm giving up
I say I want help
But do I?
Or am I just lost
Do I not want people to know the truth
Too ashamed
Just want to hide and forget
Nothing's helping
But maybe it's just me not letting it
Pushing and pushing so no one knows
So no one cares
Just leave me alone
Just let me go
I don't know!
I don't care
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
We are Young (The Crazzies Part 1 Poem 2)
We are sitting on a huge rock,
Eating some crazy big burritos,
Right next to the shore front.
Looking up at the moon,
How full it is.
As we sit a cold rush of wind hits us.
What are we to do on such a beautiful night?
Before we know it we are filling up the gas tank
And we are on the high way
We come upon the house of one of my friends,
Where we are there to make some trouble
They greet us with hugs,
And we greet them with the UV.
We are young
As we make our way the living room
The smell is already in the air.
Oh how I've missed the smell.
Inhale, exhale
All muscles become loose
And all the bad is forgotten.
To my right she smiles to me and to my left he smiles and to the far left there they all are,
All moving at a much slower pace,
Enjoying life.
And forgetting that there is bad.
I let myself get lost in all the noise.
And take a sip.
Where has the time gone its 3am
and everyone is out.
A fight between brothers has just rosen,
One yelling off the top of his lungs,
Well the other one just says good night.
And the silence,
All of a sudden I am the only one still here.
I just sit and watch the fan above go around in circles
Well some one outside sits and pukes.
And then headlights,
Like they are about to carsh into the house
And out come those who had disappeared for a few hours.
We are young
And so irrisponsible
But what if this is the only life we get?
As every one begins to mellow down its 5am
And then all through the house dead silence
Every one has gone to sleep
We are young,
and we have no clue whats ahead.
Eating some crazy big burritos,
Right next to the shore front.
Looking up at the moon,
How full it is.
As we sit a cold rush of wind hits us.
What are we to do on such a beautiful night?
Before we know it we are filling up the gas tank
And we are on the high way
We come upon the house of one of my friends,
Where we are there to make some trouble
They greet us with hugs,
And we greet them with the UV.
We are young
As we make our way the living room
The smell is already in the air.
Oh how I've missed the smell.
Inhale, exhale
All muscles become loose
And all the bad is forgotten.
To my right she smiles to me and to my left he smiles and to the far left there they all are,
All moving at a much slower pace,
Enjoying life.
And forgetting that there is bad.
I let myself get lost in all the noise.
And take a sip.
Where has the time gone its 3am
and everyone is out.
A fight between brothers has just rosen,
One yelling off the top of his lungs,
Well the other one just says good night.
And the silence,
All of a sudden I am the only one still here.
I just sit and watch the fan above go around in circles
Well some one outside sits and pukes.
And then headlights,
Like they are about to carsh into the house
And out come those who had disappeared for a few hours.
We are young
And so irrisponsible
But what if this is the only life we get?
As every one begins to mellow down its 5am
And then all through the house dead silence
Every one has gone to sleep
We are young,
and we have no clue whats ahead.
When One wants to... (The Crazzies Part 1 Amy Poem 1)
On a Wednesday night,
Where I just don't want to live anymore,
I text my friend,
"What is worth living for?
People are horrible and I don't feel like i am worth anything."
And she texts me back saying, "Don't do it."
But how am I not supposed to.
I just don't know how to handle all this stress.
I don't have an outlet for all these horrible things happening.
Before I know it she is at my house, and she askes me to get in her car.
I didn't really want to but I knew if I where to stay in my room,
the horrible thoughts would take over my mind and I wouldn't be able to came back to Earth.
So I sat in her car,
But I just couldn't say one word.
I just wanted to die.
I sat there well she tried to figure out what in the world was the matter with me.
But she just wouldn't understand.
All I could do was cry.
Crying was my solution.
As we drove around through downtown.
I watched all the cars pass by.
As my heart beat started to slow down,
and I just couldn't feel
I was allowing myself to go numb.
So that way no one could hurt me if I was already numb.
We approched Carl's Jr.
And I wondered why in the world we were here.
And out came my friend.
He sat in the back seat and tried to revive me
And by this I mean to make all the bad thoughts go out
Mid through the ride,
I began to talk.
And even though I didn't explain why I was having these thoughts
It brought me back from this dark place
The night was hard,
Trying to act like I was okay,
There was a lot of crying and no understanding
It got to the point where my other friend just couldn't handle seeing me in such pain
And she went to sleep in the bathroom
Because she as well has problems
But dont we all?
We woke up the next morning
We were all still alive.
And we made it through another night
Another night to see the next day
Where I just don't want to live anymore,
I text my friend,
"What is worth living for?
People are horrible and I don't feel like i am worth anything."
And she texts me back saying, "Don't do it."
But how am I not supposed to.
I just don't know how to handle all this stress.
I don't have an outlet for all these horrible things happening.
Before I know it she is at my house, and she askes me to get in her car.
I didn't really want to but I knew if I where to stay in my room,
the horrible thoughts would take over my mind and I wouldn't be able to came back to Earth.
So I sat in her car,
But I just couldn't say one word.
I just wanted to die.
I sat there well she tried to figure out what in the world was the matter with me.
But she just wouldn't understand.
All I could do was cry.
Crying was my solution.
As we drove around through downtown.
I watched all the cars pass by.
As my heart beat started to slow down,
and I just couldn't feel
I was allowing myself to go numb.
So that way no one could hurt me if I was already numb.
We approched Carl's Jr.
And I wondered why in the world we were here.
And out came my friend.
He sat in the back seat and tried to revive me
And by this I mean to make all the bad thoughts go out
Mid through the ride,
I began to talk.
And even though I didn't explain why I was having these thoughts
It brought me back from this dark place
The night was hard,
Trying to act like I was okay,
There was a lot of crying and no understanding
It got to the point where my other friend just couldn't handle seeing me in such pain
And she went to sleep in the bathroom
Because she as well has problems
But dont we all?
We woke up the next morning
We were all still alive.
And we made it through another night
Another night to see the next day
Friday, March 1, 2013
My Insecurities
There are millions of horrible thoughts running through my head
If I am doing the best I can do,
Am I too fat,
I am ugly,
If I do this will I get hurt?
Why is my heart racing so fast,
Things are getting blurry,
Anxiety kicking in.
Why can't I seem to concentrate,
I am not perfect,
I cant be this smart,
What if I don't succeed then what life will I live?
Am I not good enough,
Why can't I seem to understand what others are saying?
Are they speaking to me in a different tongue,
I am ugly,
Why does this society base everything on image,
Why am I not the same as everyone else,
Is there something wrong with me?
Why is my self esteem so low?
Why do people bully me,
Why do I allow them to,
I am ugly,
I am fat,
I am nothing,
I will never go far,
I am not white,
I have no brains,
I don't have any particular skill,
I am me.
So why can't this society accept it?
(Just ask yourself why do you as an individual care so much about how you appear on the outside? And where do you think this came from? From your family, your culture, the media that is around you, I am sure most of us have felt these insecurities, but remember none of us are perfect, we are all different, we are who we are, and no one can change that so expose your inner self!)
If I am doing the best I can do,
Am I too fat,
I am ugly,
If I do this will I get hurt?
Why is my heart racing so fast,
Things are getting blurry,
Anxiety kicking in.
Why can't I seem to concentrate,
I am not perfect,
I cant be this smart,
What if I don't succeed then what life will I live?
Am I not good enough,
Why can't I seem to understand what others are saying?
Are they speaking to me in a different tongue,
I am ugly,
Why does this society base everything on image,
Why am I not the same as everyone else,
Is there something wrong with me?
Why is my self esteem so low?
Why do people bully me,
Why do I allow them to,
I am ugly,
I am fat,
I am nothing,
I will never go far,
I am not white,
I have no brains,
I don't have any particular skill,
I am me.
So why can't this society accept it?
(Just ask yourself why do you as an individual care so much about how you appear on the outside? And where do you think this came from? From your family, your culture, the media that is around you, I am sure most of us have felt these insecurities, but remember none of us are perfect, we are all different, we are who we are, and no one can change that so expose your inner self!)
The Crazzies-Intro
Close your eyes,
Imagen a tall dark haired, tan asian, who is the sweetest person you can ever meet,
A tall thin blonde, with the prettiest eyes that have ever seen, a broken soul that is full of laughter,
and a chubby curly haired girl, who thinks she is a genius and tough but in reality is as scared as everyone else around her.
Three crazies
Brought together at the worst of times
but what they don't know,
is that they are meant to help eachother.
They will go through sevrual ups and downs in their lives, will grow up and will live life.
At the end of the day no matter how incredible or saddning the day has been,
they will always have eachother.
Even though family hasn't been there for them,
They have created their own type a family,
A community that they can trust and rely on.
(I will write more about their adventures togehter when I have time this is just an intro)
_Marta_Flinn_
Imagen a tall dark haired, tan asian, who is the sweetest person you can ever meet,
A tall thin blonde, with the prettiest eyes that have ever seen, a broken soul that is full of laughter,
and a chubby curly haired girl, who thinks she is a genius and tough but in reality is as scared as everyone else around her.
Three crazies
Brought together at the worst of times
but what they don't know,
is that they are meant to help eachother.
They will go through sevrual ups and downs in their lives, will grow up and will live life.
At the end of the day no matter how incredible or saddning the day has been,
they will always have eachother.
Even though family hasn't been there for them,
They have created their own type a family,
A community that they can trust and rely on.
(I will write more about their adventures togehter when I have time this is just an intro)
_Marta_Flinn_
New York
Oh how I long for you,
How I miss you,
It feels like forever even though its been just a few months,
I miss the strange smells roaming the air,
Different cultures on every corner,
People never really talking to eachother on streets,
The noise of sirens rushing through the streets,
The colors of fall on the ground,
The snowflakes falling.
I miss the music that flew through the wind,
So loud you wouldn't be able to sleep,
The icky trains that took you everywhere,
And Manhattan where everything took place.
The Broadway shows, that would leave you wondering if your life could be a musical,
The craziness of Time Square,
Looking at confused faces not knowing where they are going,
Sitting on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of art enjoying a hot dog,
Watching the traffic lights go for miles,
But most of all watching the day time city become night,
Where all the lights glisen and the beauty awakens at night.
New York I love you, and miss you so much
_Marta_Flinn_
How I miss you,
It feels like forever even though its been just a few months,
I miss the strange smells roaming the air,
Different cultures on every corner,
People never really talking to eachother on streets,
The noise of sirens rushing through the streets,
The colors of fall on the ground,
The snowflakes falling.
I miss the music that flew through the wind,
So loud you wouldn't be able to sleep,
The icky trains that took you everywhere,
And Manhattan where everything took place.
The Broadway shows, that would leave you wondering if your life could be a musical,
The craziness of Time Square,
Looking at confused faces not knowing where they are going,
Sitting on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of art enjoying a hot dog,
Watching the traffic lights go for miles,
But most of all watching the day time city become night,
Where all the lights glisen and the beauty awakens at night.
New York I love you, and miss you so much
_Marta_Flinn_
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)