Let Go

You know holding on to anger is not worth a penny. Why hold on to something that upsets you? We all have enough stress in our every day lives. We shouldn't have to deal with anymore ridiculous dilemmas. Personally, for me it has taken me a very long time to figure this out, but we all figure it out eventually. Why do we let the bad things around us, suck up our energy and time? Why do we allow it to just eat us alive? Is it because that is how we were raised? Because our society raises generation after generation of unhappy people.

Who came up with the idea, that sticking with bad habit is a good tradition. I didn't realize how horrible this was, until a few days ago. We all obsess about different things. Mine for the past few months has been holding on to some one who no longer cares about me. But I being so stubborn would not let this person go. Why? Because I thought if I let this person go, that I would not be able to keep moving forward with me life. So for the past few months I have been acting like a total idiot. Roaming around with this big rain cloud above my head, not allowing the sun to shine on me.

This person, has taken up most of my life for the past three years. Not saying that I regret it. But because of this reason, it has caused me to make some very ill decisions in my life. Some that I am not very proud of, but never the less they were made and now I have to deal with the mess that has been left.

There is a difference between holding on to bad, and letting it go but picking up the mess afterwards. Because once you pick up the mess, you are left with something clean, something fresh. That way you have room to make a mess again, but hopefully not the same mess.

So as I was standing at Target, buying a Halloween card for a friend of mine. I saw this person who has made the past few months of my life living hell. Even if it was not intentional. This person seemed perfectly fine. Even after all the events that have happened. I thought to myself, " What the hell, what the bloody hell is wrong with this person!."

I could not believe my eyes. There I was feeling like a total train wreck, well this person was enjoying their evening with some one else.

Some how I got my mind to calm down. And instead of being completely angry. I saw it as something different. An opportunity to see things differently. Because for the past few months I thought this person was down in the dumps. So I was trying to do everything in my power to keep this person in my life, even if it meant that it would hurt me more.

I was a fool. How foolish could I be. But as I existed Target. I felt this weight get lifted off my shoulders. I don't know why. But seeing this person, helped me realize that I have been focusing my energy in the wrong places and not in the right places. For months, I have been full of anger, full of sadness. And most of all I have felt stuck. In reality I should be royally ticked off for seeing this person this way.

But I am not. I got an unspoken closure. Something that was needed. I was holding on to bad. For what? Honestly I don't even know why. I knew it was unhealthy, but I just kept trying to hold on. Maybe because the idea of the past is so much easier, then the idea of the future, the unknown.

There is nothing wrong with the unknown The unknown leads to new adventures and new people. New isn't easy but it can, may, WILL lead to something better.

Failure

Learning is a long life process
There are many failures in life that we go through.
Some of them make perfect sense
Well others you cant really seem to find an explanation.
But never the less, there is a lesson to be learned,
Whether it's that you find out that you are extraordinary at doing something
Or the totally opposite.
However you shouldn't see it as a form of defeat
Rather, a form of learning.
But the thing is, you at least did something,
Most wont even take a stand.
I mean the thing may not be the best choice,
But you did do something
Rather then not
And isn't that the whole point.
To do as many things as you can
Before you leave this Earth.
Because would you really want to leave with doubts and regrets
So failure really isn't failure.
It is just a step in the right direction.
What ever that direction maybe.

This Thing

There is this thing,
This tiny little thing,
It lives inside my head,
and never ever leaves.
It tells me I should count to ten and fall asleep,
But then it tells me to fall into a never ending sleep,
There is this thing,
This tiny little thing,
It lays inside my heart,
My lonely, lonely heart.
It tells me to weep for him,
That I will never have him,
To give up, and say my ends, to my never ending sleep.
There is this thing,
This tiny little thing,
It lives with me everyday.
Whispering into my ear,
Telling me I am not worth a penny,
But I will never ever give in!

Land of Unknown

I am from the land of unknown.
I don't know where I came from or what my purpose in life is.
I know one thing, I am not who I seem to be.
I am a person lost in the world we all share.
The same air we breath
The same creatures.
but I don't know where I came from or what my past is.
It seems that everyone s alike.
My life started very early, before you or your grandparents were born.
I am an old soul wondering the face of Earth, unable to die.
Unable to feel anything.
My life was wasted many years before.
Way back when we the human race had become the dominant species.
As i roamed the Earth, a wizard called upon me.
He told me to climb the highest mountain at the horizon. There I would find something so amazing, there would be no words to describe it.
When I reached the the destination,
I did not find what I had pictured.
But what he meant was that I would find death.
He had tricked me.
From the distance some one called my name. A man.
I turned to find the one and only, Satan.
He stood before me, tall and handsome
Just like everyone had told me.
My heart stopped.
I gazed into his deep blue eyes, full of evil, heart break, regrets, and sadness.
But as I gazed longer, everything went dead around.
He came closer to me.
As I stood there. He read my like a book, page by page.
He relived my pain.
He whispered something into my ear, but I could not say it back
He gave me a kiss with those icy, tender, soft lips.
And then bam, he stole my heart, and replaced it with immortality.
As my punishment,
I am forced to watch each day go on by, watching people suffer from all that he has done.
Only because I wouldn't say I love you.
His harshness stole my heart, so I would never be able to love or feel again.
To live in darkness, to seek for light even though it's not there anymore.
I am from an unknown land, where my dreams started but ended.
Where all was right at one time, but ended with nothing........

Endless Sleep

Water running through a stream of thick blood,
As the mucky smell of a foggy forest runs through the air.
The silence of the trees.
And the echos of the owls roam.
As icy fingers of chaos go upon your soul,
Endless sleep looks upon you,
endless.......ENDLESS
Summer is no longer near,
Souls never escape from the endless sleep,
Bodies taken over by the child of chaos
CHAOS the greatest worrier that has lived,
Caused hatred and rage to this world.
Fear what can not be feared,
For if you take a peek.
You will be enchanted by the discovery of,
The endless sleep
That has just taken your soul

I love you forever

Whether apart or together,
I will love you forever.
No matter how many times the sun rises and sets.
I will for you forever.
Even if you forget the love that we shared,
Or if all you feel is hate,
I will love you forever.
For my heart has been stolen,
It has been set to one rhythm
The rhythm of you.
If you were to die,
The feelings I have will still be there.
I love you forever.
For you have a special place,
A part of my heart,
Even though you may not feel the same anymore.
No one else will make me feel the way you did,
Never will I feel so close to some one,
My other half.
We may grow apart,
But you will forever be my first love,
And for that I will love you forever,
Until death and even after death,
As we used to say.
_Marta_Flinn_