Clear (The Crazzies Alice)

I woke up this morning with,
Less pain in my heart,
Less anger at myself,
Less hatred towards everything.
My body is relaxed,
Something not normal for me,
My mind is cleared,
It's somewhat of a relief,
There are still little pieces of hurt,
But they aren't over powering,
For the first time in months I am better,
I am finally able to breath for a few minutes.
Enjoy life.
I can't remember the last time I felt so free.
Not in closed by all the pressures of life.
It's just me.
Laying here,
In the precious silence.
I know my decision now.

Sadness doesn't stay for long
Buy a new dress,
Get all dressed up
And have some fun.
Still to young to be grieving so much.
So much life ahead,
Be thankful for being alive,
Be thankful for being here,
In this world of beauty.
Bad things happen,
But bad things are not meant to stay.
We all have our moments of doubts,
Where we feel so little,
But we are not alone
We all have these thoughts,
And the good thing to know,
Is that at the end,
None of us make it out alive,
But that is okay.
Because we all have the same destiny,
Death,
But death is not what defines us.
It's how we spent the years before our death.
It's the happiness that we created.

In your arms

The first thing that pops into my mind is you

The way you used to lay next to me,

Your arms wrapped around me,

Protecting me from all the evils out there

And in your embrace I felt safe,

Safer then I had ever felt in my life.

There was something about you,

As my head lay on your chest.

Listening to the sound of your heart beat

I knew I was loved.

You didn't have to tell me.

I would look into your eyes,

And they would speak for themselves.

Oh how I miss your eyes.

The way they looked at me.

Like I was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.

The way you would get that dorky smile when I finally realized you had been staring.

And then I would lean in for a kiss.

The warmth of your lips against mine,

Woke up my body.

You were my home.

No matter where I was.

And even now,

I still feel like you are.

Even though we wont ever be again.

_Marta_Flinn_

Drifting Away (The Crazzies Poem 4 Alice)

I sit here on the roof

Looking at all the beauty that is around me

But why is it that I don't feel part of it?

I don't know who I am anymore.

How could I do what I did to her.

She will never forgive me.

I can't believe what is happening to me

I look in the mirror 

And nothing

I see no reflection

Because I feel nonexistent
Who am I?
I feel like I just want to explode.
But they are both in the room.
I know she cares for me,
She doesn't have to be here.
But she is.
After everything I've done to her.
How can she be so strong.
I know she is hurting inside,
But she is hiding it for me.
I feel like a horrible person.
I know she loves him.
Why did I do it?
Is it because I was jealous of what they had.
Because I don't have it.
Is it because I actually have feelings for him?
Or is it because he is the only man I have been around for the past year.
I can't say why I did it.
And I can't look at her,
Because I know,
She has a broken heart now.
I took something away from her.
The man that she loved.
And yet she is sitting there,
Trying to keep me from doing any harm to myself.
The old me would have never done this,
But I just keep drifting away further and further each day.

Coldness of the Night

Those lonely cold nights,
where the sun meets the horizon,
and nothing can be seen for miles,
besides the sand that goes on and on
All that he is left with
Is the guilt he feels inside.
It eats him,
Until he goes mad
Then he will see
What madness he has bestowed upon
There is no way of going back
For the coldness of the night has come
He lays on the ground
Staring at the beauty around him,
Wondering why he had been so blind,
For so long
What got him here?
Why was he no longer the good man he once was.
His heart was frozen.
Was it because of everything
Was it because of this heart ache
He felt the sand between his fingers,
The softness that he hadn't felt since childhood.
Brought comfort to his loneliness
He knew he wasn't going to make it
So he asked for forgiveness
For all his wrongs
He didn't want to leave with out saying,
I am sorry.
To the one he did wrong.