Monday, April 14, 2014

One Year

After running into my ex fiance today as I exited my class,
The first thing that I did was pretend that I was calling some one,
In hopes that he would not bother on saying hello.
Then a tad bit late,
My body starts to react to the encounter,
I go numb and every inch of my body is shaking,
It's been exactly one year since he cheated on me.
And my body still reacts with disgust.
The thought of him overwhelms me.
The next thing that happens is,
I try to keep it together,
Well my whole body is telling me otherwise.
I find myself running to my car,
With out even thinking.
I am driving,
And just my luck John Legend's, "All of Me" comes on the radio
And instantly I find myself drowning in my tears.
I make it home,
I instantly bang eat,
Looking for anything to eat,
And I find myself making a brownie,
Not a whole sheet of brownies but just one brownie,
I mix some peanut butter into the batter.
As I am waiting for my one brownie to bake,
Millions of thoughts run through my head,
But I look at myself and say,
You are okay,
You've made it this far,
You are strong,
and just because he cheated on you,
It doesn't mean you aren't beautiful, that you aren't a nice person
It just means that it's him who messed it up.
Look at where you are now.
You are stronger then ever,
You have goals,
Hell you've even dropped quiet a bit of weight,
You are on your way to joining the military,
You are getting things done,
You are grabbing a hold of life,
before life takes you.
You are enjoy yourself,
Treating yourself better,
You have learned to love yourself.
You've even learned from your mistakes,
You are a better person and
Eventually the thought of him or the site of him will not phase you anymore,
Because you have learned the one thing most people don't;

Self worth.

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