Sunday, November 10, 2013

Drifting Away (The Crazzies Poem 4 Alice)

I sit here on the roof
Looking at all the beauty that is around me
But why is it that I don't feel part of it?
I don't know who I am anymore.
How could I do what I did to her.
She will never forgive me.
I can't believe what is happening to me
I look in the mirror 
And nothing
I see no reflection
Because I feel nonexistent
Who am I?
I feel like I just want to explode.
But they are both in the room.
I know she cares for me,
She doesn't have to be here.
But she is.
After everything I've done to her.
How can she be so strong.
I know she is hurting inside,
But she is hiding it for me.
I feel like a horrible person.
I know she loves him.
Why did I do it?
Is it because I was jealous of what they had.
Because I don't have it.
Is it because I actually have feelings for him?
Or is it because he is the only man I have been around for the past year.
I can't say why I did it.
And I can't look at her,
Because I know,
She has a broken heart now.
I took something away from her.
The man that she loved.
And yet she is sitting there,
Trying to keep me from doing any harm to myself.
The old me would have never done this,
But I just keep drifting away further and further each day.

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