I tried to be strong, but its too much right now

Today I woke up,
A little uneasy,
Last night I tried to be strong,
But I couldn't
It was one step too soon,
My emotions are already hurt,
But no one seems to care about mine,
And I get blamed for not putting myself in his footsteps,
When that is all I have been doing,
Trying to view what he did and how he feels,
But no one has really asked me how I feel about the matter,
No one has really seen things through my eyes,
Right now I have to be selfish because I have been hurt,
Right now I also have to do things for myself,
Not just others,
I am sorry I wasn't able to allow you to do this,
It's cause it's her,
My friend who betrayed me,
Broke me,
And it's just too soon,
I try to view it as something else,
But I can't just yet,
The thoughts are just to clear in my mind,
If it was a month from now or more,
I could allow you,
I tried to be strong,
But I just couldn't
I will let you do anything but that ,
To help you heal and help you get better,
I am sorry,
Really am,
I know you understand it now,
but I just can't
Just yet,
When my heart has been cracked open,
and I am trying to pick up all the pieces
All the pieces that have been left on the ground,
I am still searching for a few.
I love you so much,
Just please don't hurt me.

_marta_flinn_